1.) Be White

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2.) Restock your first aid kit

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3.) Develop secret code to talk about #hewhomustnotbenamed

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4.) Build a wall around your property…maybe throw in a moat

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5.) Memorize the Freedom Kids song

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6.) Renew your passport

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7.) Keep your birth certificate about you at all times

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8.) Find a middle school student to tweet snappy comebacks for you

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9.) Cover your house with subtle but classy gold plating

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10.) Fix your Bible, a “credible source” says it’s actually #TwoCorinthians

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